We won't sleep together?
4 words: hood of his car
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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