his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm at about main and main street
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
