my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
