I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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