You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
