OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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