Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
