I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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