Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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