I skipped work to stalk him.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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