then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
