a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
