Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
How does it feel to date your dad?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
