if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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