So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
