Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
