Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
