If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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