i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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