are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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