I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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