I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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