my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
