lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
