after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
