Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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