It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
