I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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