he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
