he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
