Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
