Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
no you cant smoke seaweed
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
