Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
