Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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