Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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