I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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