I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
