He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You are a genius and a whore.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
