I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I did not marry a roomba.
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