I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
