never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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