STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
