I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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