imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
