I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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