I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
