I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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