He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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