New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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