RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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