I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
